I have always liked silliness, nonsense and absurdity.
"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells." Dr. Seuss said that. I knew there was a reason I liked him.
A few days ago, I received an e-mail from Ramona titled "Puns for an Educated Mind". I read it anyway in the hope that I could keep up. When I burst out laughing, I had to share. And yes, Ramona is the same sweetie who sent me the "Cookie Rules" I shared before Christmas.
I hope you get a chuckle too.
1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's Round Table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. Though she was only a whiskey-maker, he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated in Algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
9. A hole has been found in the wall of a nudist camp. The police are looking into it.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'
13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said “Keep off the Grass.”
15. A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
16. A soldier who survives mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
17. A backward poet writes inverse.
18. In a democracy, it is your vote that counts. In feudalism, it is your count that votes.
19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
20. If you jump off the bridge in Paris, you would be in Seine .
21. A vulture boards an airplane carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess takes one look at him and says, “I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”
22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says “Dam!”
23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Not surprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, “I've lost my electron.” The other asks, “Are you sure?” The first replies, “Yes, I'm positive.”
25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocaine during his root canal? His goal – transcend dental medication.
Also Non Sequitur.
That's it for today.
And thank you for all the kind words about the new Schnibbles. I really do appreciate it.