I have always liked silliness, nonsense and absurdity.
Non Sequitur.
"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells." Dr. Seuss said that. I knew there was a reason I liked him.
A few days ago, I received an e-mail from Ramona titled "Puns for an Educated Mind". I read it anyway in the hope that I could keep up. When I burst out laughing, I had to share. And yes, Ramona is the same sweetie who sent me the "Cookie Rules" I shared before Christmas.
I hope you get a chuckle too.
1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's Round Table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. Though she was only a whiskey-maker, he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated in Algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
9. A hole has been found in the wall of a nudist camp. The police are looking into it.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'
13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said “Keep off the Grass.”
15. A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
16. A soldier who survives mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
17. A backward poet writes inverse.
18. In a democracy, it is your vote that counts. In feudalism, it is your count that votes.
19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
20. If you jump off the bridge in Paris, you would be in Seine .
21. A vulture boards an airplane carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess takes one look at him and says, “I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”
22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says “Dam!”
23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Not surprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, “I've lost my electron.” The other asks, “Are you sure?” The first replies, “Yes, I'm positive.”
25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocaine during his root canal? His goal – transcend dental medication.
Also Non Sequitur.
That's it for today.
And thank you for all the kind words about the new Schnibbles. I really do appreciate it.
Oh Carrie, I laughed till tears were rolling, thank you so much for sharing these words of wisdom, LOL. I have to tell you though that #13 really got me. My hubby and I go to 'Senior' water aerobic 3 days a week (if you want a really good laugh, come and watch that, LOL). Every Friday, we play volleyball and there are two ladies that will always, always just watch the ball come at them and when it hits them in the face, they look around and say..."Oh, I didn't know it was coming to ME". They are two of the younger gals in our class and neither of them wears glasses or contacts. I always wonder what they are thinking as they watch that ball coming at them...apparently though, they aren't thinking!!! (sorry to pick on us ladies but the guys have "a little more on the ball" *wink* when it comes to this particular time in our class)
Posted by: Nancy | March 02, 2011 at 08:29 AM
Funny, this is something my teenage boys would like. I love the pole vaulter as my niece is a pole vaulter...I should send her a link to your blog.
Posted by: Colleen M | March 02, 2011 at 08:30 AM
Love these...a great way to start my morning!
Posted by: sherri | March 02, 2011 at 08:54 AM
omg my husband is going to love this.
Posted by: Nicole | March 02, 2011 at 09:11 AM
I love puns and this was a wonderful collection of them! Thanks for sharing. I had to send it to a couple of my work friends.
Posted by: Lisa D. | March 02, 2011 at 09:45 AM
The comic strip had me laughing out loud. Thanks for the laughs!
Posted by: Sandy (Strlady) | March 02, 2011 at 10:05 AM
*giggle* Now my DH wonders why I'm laughing at the computer. LOL
Posted by: Sandie ~call me crazy | March 02, 2011 at 10:44 AM
What a hoot! Thanks for sharing these and thank Ramona for sending them to you. Do I have y'all's (that looks comical with 2 apostrophes) permission to pass these along?
Posted by: Karin | March 02, 2011 at 11:36 AM
I feel famous now that you have put my name in print - TWICE! My favorite latest quip was this one: "Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone". Have a great day and take a rest. I have to go back and oogle over those latest Schnibbles.
Posted by: Ramona Chester | March 02, 2011 at 11:40 AM
Those are all so funny!! That bottom cartoon is just like some of my days. Work really hard to get somewhere then I hit a brick wall. LOL! Thank you!
Posted by: Shannon | March 02, 2011 at 11:42 AM
*lol* loved # 24
love those puns...and i'm happy i understood them (as english is not my mother tongue.
another one (unfortunately a 'picture pun' hanging at the memo board at work:
a stone and a yard stick meet, says the first: you rule!, the second: you rock!
Posted by: julia | March 02, 2011 at 01:14 PM
Oh my goodness, I can not stop laughing. Thank, thank, thank
Posted by: corinne | March 02, 2011 at 03:31 PM
I worked in Tech Support for more years than I care to admit (18+)! I love the Tech Support cartoon!
Posted by: Kathy in FL | March 02, 2011 at 03:48 PM
lol teehee gufaw haha hohoho!
Posted by: Kristyne | March 02, 2011 at 08:56 PM
Really enjoyed - I only wish I could remember them without a cheat sheet!! Thanks for starting my day off on a positive!!
Posted by: Linda P | March 03, 2011 at 08:38 AM